Now Mother, Discover Your Strengths

Photo by Marcin Moga

Mothering is a multi-job position.  Oftentimes, we find ourselves wearing multiple hats simultaneously. A mother may  also be a:

• Cook
• Nutritionist
• Educator
• Psychologist
• Confidant
• Coach
• Researcher
• Facilitator
• Economist
• Manager
• Housecleaner
• Interior Decorator
• Personal Stylist 
• Seamstress
• Toymaker
• Gardener
• Homesteader

And I’m sure the list can go on. 

 As a new mother, I was overwhelmed by the multi-faceted role of mothering. I had to dive into the world of immunizations and health and cooking and food and education and child development and budgeting and play and more, in a very short span of time! Prior to becoming a mother, none of these things were part of my everyday vocabulary. All of a sudden, I felt like I had to be somewhat at least knowledgeable about all the said things. If not an expert. (Yes, I know, silly me.)

No wonder why so many of us are frazzled and multi-tasking up to our noses! We try so hard to be good at every possible thing we can think of! If that’s you, (I know that’s me), perhaps it’s because we’ve fallen prey to two popular but flawed assumptions about ourselves. That:

1. We can be competent in almost anything.
2. Our greatest room for growth is in our areas of greatest weakness.

Let’s Break The Rules

Prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom, I organized and led a seminar at work based on the work of Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. They wrote a book entitled, ” Now, Discover Your Strengths.” And the premise is exactly the opposite of the assumptions above. Instead, they assert that: 

1. Each person’s talents are enduring and unique
2. Each person’s greatest room for growth is in the areas of his or her greatest strengths.

Although the book is geared for the workplace and organizations, we can readily apply this to our work at home as well.  

Let’s Define Strength 

Your strength is a combination of your natural talents, skills and knowledge combined. We are all born with an innate predisposition towards certain things, our natural talents. If while growing up we were able to learn and grow and build on these natural talents, we develop the necessary skills and knowledge to make them into strengths.

I think of my cousin who is gifted in taking things apart and putting them back together. He does this with cars and he is a genius! And he has truly helped our family by working his magic on our car more than a few times. I’m so thankful he diligently worked on his gifts so he can in turn re-gift it to others. He also had parents who gave him the freedom and the space to become himself, and not somebody else.

The problem is that many of us grow up trying to fit ourselves into certain molds. And we are still doing it today, trying to be the All-Encompassing Kind of A Mother. 

Simplify: Do Your Thing 
We can’t be everything to our children. But we can be one, two, maybe even three things to them. Three things that we are truly good at, really truly good at. It’s one of the few ways we truly bless others: by being ourselves, by letting the Good Gifts imprinted in us flourish and shine brightly. No gift is ever small.

Start by compiling a list of all the things you think a mother should be. Then look over the list and identify the top three things you are really really good at. Focus on these things. And then don’t worry about the rest.

About Things We Simply Must Learn How To Do 
Of course, some of the jobs I mentioned in the beginning of this past are jobs we simply must do. We gotta eat, so we have to cook. Unless you have the money to hire your own personal chef or buy take out every night. The key is to be strategic about doing them in a way that maximizes your natural strengths while minimizing your weaknesses.