Sometime a couple of weeks ago, I took a meal to my friends who I hadn’t seen in awhile (they just had their baby.) I was told that I sorta looked different. New haircut? No. Lost weight? I wish. It was simply that instead of putting my long black hair into a quick mess of a ponytail, I let my hair down.
How many of us have stopped letting our hair down, especially after becoming a mom?
It’s just the most impractical thing, really. Running around the house, getting dirty outside, cleaning up after all sorts of messes and projects and dirty dishes. Who has time to let their hair down?
Because to let your hair down is to take care of yourself.
To let your hair down means to take the time to, you know, actually dry your hair after shower before stuffing it into a bun of some sort. It means to actually brush your hair until there are no more tangles and crazy knots. It means to have to style it in a way that looks decent enough to be left down.
Because to let your hair down is to feel safe and proud of who you are.
To let your hair down means to embrace your beauty and make no apologies for what you’ve been Given. It means you are comfortable with yourself and that your work as a Woman-Wife-Mom comes from the Core of You. It means you treat yourself with kindness and respect, because you after all, are charged with modelling the same to those in your care.
Honestly?
I rarely let my hair down. Until it’s time for bed and for a short moment, it can just be about…me. I’m the mom who takes a 5-minute shower and gets my clothes drenched because my hair is still dripping wet. I get down and dirty with my little one and we play a lot and my hair gets pulled and yanked (unintentionally, most of the time.)
But maybe my daughter is tugging and pulling my hair because she sees that momma doesn’t really care for it. She sees me hurriedly tying up my drenching soggy hair into an old lady’s bun. What else could she conclude but that?
And so I hereby proclaim:
I’m going to make it one of my small yet BIG goals for the next three months, and maybe the rest of my life: Either cut my hair really short, or wear it down, long and proud. Every single day.
Because It’s not really about hair. Nor how long or how short you keep it. It’s about what it reflects about yourself and how much you think you are worth.
And I want to start oozing with Worthiness. Otherwise, I would be disrespecting the Giver of my Worth.
Worth=Respect.
Respect yourself.
Let your hair down.
What about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Oh, and P.S. for my email subscribers: if you don’t want to receive the newsletters, please let me know and I can take you off the list. Otherwise, I’ll keep them coming every Monday. Oh, and the juicy story? I edited it out. It involves a third party who would rather not be mentioned here. I love my very private husband.
This was very insightful. I don’t take time to think about what I might be “teaching” my children by neglecting myself. You have given me something to consider!
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I love when you draw attention to little things like that, and make us realize that everything is actually kind of big.
Kathleen Quiring | Project M´s last [type] ..What is the Worst Marriage Advice You’ve Ever Gotten
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I totally haven’t thought at all about what not doing my hair says about me. I think I have only worn my hair down 3 or 4 times in the past year since becoming a mom (SERIOUSLY!) Hum, I must not have much of a sense of my worthiness since not only do I never do my hair, but I also regularly spend all day in sweats/pajamas…hum, maybe it is time I start evaluating why I do those things and start taking better care of myself…
Bethany´s last [type] ..If You Are Looking for Some Interesting Reads…
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Jessica – I have to constantly ask myself that question because I’m prone to neglect taking care of myself!
Kathleen – Thanks for the very insightful and encouraging comment! Your words breathe life. Thank you.
Bethany! I know we are all in a different season, and I think there is the pajama-sweats season in every new moms life. There’s this invisible line though that I think we all cross, where the pajama-sweats-ponytail get-up becomes a reflection of something worth evaluating and perhaps changing. So for me, I know I’m out of that season and when I don’t put any effort into getting myself dressed in the morning, FOR ME, it equals unworthiness/lack of respect for myself and my own needs. Hugs!
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Vina- that’s a beautiful step of grace for ourselves.. so often just looking at myself in the mirror gives me the chance to breathe and recognize who I am outside of a working mama.. thanks for the reminder.. blessings.. cko
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Vina Barham Reply:
September 24th, 2010 at 11:16 am
Colleen – Yes to the small opportunities of catching ourselves in the mirror and breathing!
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A couple of weeks ago while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, I noticed my husband was just looking at me and thinking. He didn’t say anything except, “You never wear your hair down, do you?” He’s right- I don’t. And I’m not even a mother yet! I’m just too busy DOING to let it down. Letting my hair down is a symbol of BEING. Thanks for bringing it up, Vina.
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Vina Barham Reply:
September 24th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Hi Kesha,
Oh the cycle of Doing and Being! I totally hear you! Here’s to wearing our hair downs more!
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Vina, I never thought of it that way. I do wear my hair down most of the time. I got it cut a few months ago, it was almost waist length. I’ve taught my children to be gentle with it. If I try to wear it up they just pull on it or get it caught and then it begins to looks sloppy. My girls like to “do up” my hair, too, with their stuff. I know that my husband likes to see my hair up sometimes, so maybe I should focus on trying to put my hair up a couple evenings a week just for him. I feel special sometimes when I do it up, not just leaving it in the normal hang free mode.
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Vina Barham Reply:
September 24th, 2010 at 11:14 am
Hi Suanna,
Thanks for sharing about your own experience! Funny how “letting our hair down” means differently to each of us! Here’s to being beautiful just the way we are!
Light and Love,
Vina
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wow, very insightful post. I wear my hair up ALL the time. I work as a RN so it is necessary, then at home with two kids. I have the kind of hair which requires styling aka curly but can’t make it’s mind up if it is or not. You have inspired me to “wear it down”. Thanks for the reminder.
Kristina´s last [type] ..Carrot Cashew Soup
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Hmmm. It took the third kid to really make me give up on my appearance when I walk out the door. (I’m Southern and used to feel naked without lipstick amd earrings.) Today, I tied my wet hair back in a pretty scarf rather than a drippy ponytail. Baby step #1. Thanks for the reminder to take time to care for myself.
MamaBee´s last [type] ..Learning to Cook- Part 3
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Vina Barham Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Yay for pretty scarves!!
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