Dearest Reader…

 

Photo By Craftapalooza

 

Hello again.

I know what you’re thinking. Sort of. Well, at least when it comes to my blog. Yes, I admit. I can be a total flake. Or just another gal struggling to honestly live my life. It’s really about perspective, eh.

When I look at my Archive Page, which I hope to update soon, it’s sort of fascinating that my # of blog posts went for a nosedive immediately following my Revolution Fail. If you’ve been following me for awhile, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Some of you have expressed disappointment and I don’t blame you for not coming back to visit here anymore. Although I do wish you would because I do miss having evidence that I am not alone in this journey. Is that too selfish of a reason?

For those of you who still come by, bless your heart for sticking around. I have to admit that I am prone to blog/personal identity crises of sorts, not to mention being so open about my messy life issues which of course affect my home life which of course affect what I write about on this blog. I wish I could separate them neatly, with one not quite affecting the other but that’s not how I work. But then again, perhaps that’s what draws you here.

I can’t imagine my blog having any kind of significance in anyone’s life. I can only hope to be helpful sometimes and at the most empathetic to my dear beloved readers. I am still amazed that I do have readers. I really have no reason to write here without you. There is no writer without a reader. My deepest thanks. Oh so deep.

Those who don’t blog will never fully understand those of us who are drawn to make it a part of our life’s work and perhaps especially those of us who choose to be public about stuff you can’t even bring up with your circle of friends. I don’t know if I fully understand it either, but I keep coming back to it even when a part of me just wants to leave it all behind.

The connections I’ve made here with truly kindred spirits have been more than what I could ask for. Some people dismiss these connections simply because they were made “online” instead of “face-to-face” and I suppose it’s really a matter of how you define connectedness. Not that I know how to define that. Except for those rare times when my heart feels fully embraced and accepted. That’s connection right there.

And here in this blog is where I’ve disclosed a lot of what’s in my heart. The good and the bad. The sort of lovely and downright ugly. But then you, dear friends, keep coming back with words and thoughts that encourage and enlighten and empower. (Hmmm. Yes. I’ve made more than just connections and gained more than just readers. Because of this blog, I’ve made some friends.)

Here in this blog, is a home of sorts. A place for velveteen mamas who don’t want to pretend to be more or less than who they are. Who are such beautiful contradictions of leading and failing revolutions in one breath. Who take courageous steps forwards and honest fearful leaps back. Who believe and doubt and trust and question and love and bare it all. Who are drawn to explore and wander and wonder and delight and dig deep and embrace and welcome and mourn and dance and make space and show up and hide sometimes.

I don’t really have any promises for what’s to come in 2011. I just know I’ll keep writing here. I might attempt future revolutions and call them something different and I might fail again. Whatever. But I can only write about my own journey and give voice to my own story in hopes that by doing so, I can be just a little bit closer to living my life more authentically, experiencing Divine Love more fully, and connecting to soul-friends around the world more freely.

My Warmest Thoughts,

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Comments

  1. Christa says

    Hey there! I’m still here – also, I finally got a Google Reader set up (thanks to a friend who walked me through it.) So now I will be able to read your postings no matter how much or little you write without even checking ;) I loved your comment that this is a place for mom’s not to pretend to be something they are not – and that’s why I’m here. I can’t stand that shit. Also, you are right in that I don’t get why people are motivated to blog, but I’m glad to be a blog consumer and really glad there are people like you who do! I’m hoping you have a wonderfully slow paced Christmas and feel great about who you are! Lots of love.

  2. says

    Vina, be encouraged. I know I have said this before, but I honestly mean it. I (little me) am excited when I see a new post from you. I truly look forward to them. Call me a voyeur…but as you said, “There is no writer without a reader”. As a reader, I thank you and encourage you to keep writing. Keep writing about whatever you want to because this is YOUR blog. This is YOUR journey. Let go of expectations and just write. (This is at least what I am trying to do over in my little digital plot of land.)
    Kristina´s last blog post ..Fleeting Moments of Genius

  3. says

    Oh, you just warmed my heart! You can be assured there are no lofty expectations here… I am simply thankful to find connection with a kindred spirit and to be encouraged, inspired, and moved to be me! It doesn’t mean that we don’t grow, don’t change, don’t strive to be “better.” It does mean that we are free to mention days of poor attitudes, unmet goals, and failed ideals. We don’t wallow in this, but in knowing we are not alone, it is easier to get back up again… without fear.
    A friend far across the globe,
    Courtney
    Courtney´s last blog post ..This is Africa

  4. says

    I’m here! I check in every day and I appreciate your honesty. I have tried several times but can never hit the publish button on the kind of honesty you are willing to share. I applaud your courage, freedom and womanhood. I believe you are living more fully than most by not being afraid to reveal the real you. Don’t let anyone sensor your spirit!

  5. Colleen says

    Your writing is so open and honest it tempts me to be the same.. and to enjoy your road to contentment and confusion which is often where I am. Please keep honoring me with all of your joys and sorrows..Blessings–Colleen

  6. says

    Oh, Vina, this post is why I love reading your blog and why I consider you one of my “blog friends”, and a distant kindred spirit. I love your honesty as you live out the paradox that is this journey of life. Thank you! Thank you for continuing to write, thank you for continuing to share. Your voice is needed and valued!
    Bethany´s last blog post ..December Synchroblog- Experiencing Advent with a Toddler

  7. Vina Barham says

    @Christa, Yay! I’m glad you have Google Reader now. So much easier huh? Love that you are here, Christa! Your comments always make me smile with a little bit of a crooked wicked twist… :)

  8. Vina Barham says

    @Kristina, Oh Kristina! Thank you. I am encouraged. I love your recent post in your blog too. I can so relate and I hope that you also keep writing whatever it is you are inspired to.

  9. Vina Barham says

    @Melanie, Your last post in your blog makes me want to do a Gratitude Journal too! Thank you so much for coming by here. It means a lot!

  10. Vina Barham says

    @Bethany, Yes, dear blog friend Beth. You are a distant kindred spirit. I must have said that so many times now. I hope you keep writing too, because your voice, dear sister, is also much needed and valued!

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