IIt’s time for Pre-school Open House. I’ve circled a few dates on my calendar for some of the best pre-school around our neighborhood, just in case. Intuitively, I think that putting our little one in pre-school is just a waste of our money. At the very least, it can give me a few hours in the morning to myself but I’m not sure that’s reason enough to subject my little girl to overrated peer socialization and introduce her to institutionalized learning. The best pre-school programs, such as Montessori and Waldorf-based ones, are those that resemble closely the rhythms of home life. So why pay other people to do the same things I could be enjoying with my little one right here at home?
But the more important question on my mind is this:
Do young children really need pre-school to be ready to enter kindergarten? Or is pre-school more of an adult need to have freedom from our challenging young children?
We might actually even ask whether children in general need “school” at all. But that’s for another post. Except let me share this exciting bit with you: a TED Talk video on Child-Driven Education by Sugata Mitra:
Quite interesting isn’t it? Take away all the heavy emphasis on internet learning (which I think is inappropriate for children under 7) and what Sugata Mitra asserts is quite familiar to something John Holt has been saying for so long: children naturally learn. Where there is interest, there is education. Whether in Delhi or in Seattle, children across the globe learn the same way. They follow their natural inclination to learn.
I love his conclusions:
- Self Organising Systems: a self-organising system is one where the system structure appears without explicit intervention from outside the system.
- Emergence: the appearance of a property not previously observed as a functional characteristic of the system.
Education is a self-organising system where learning is an emergent.
And the question that begs to be answered is whether this natural inclination to learn what they are interested in is nurtured in schools? Albert Einstein once said of “school,”
It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom; without this it goes to wrack and ruin without fail. It is a very grave mistake to think that the enjoyment of seeing and searching can be promoted by means of coercion and a sense of duty.
Indeed.
But back to Early Childhood Education and the whole premise behind it. According to the National Institute for Early Education Research, early education provides the following benefits:
- Higher test scores
- Better social skills
- Less grade repetition & Spec. Ed.
- Higher graduation rates
- Increased earnings
- Less crime
- Less teen pregnancy, abortion, smoking
They also insist that the benefits are not only exclusive to low-income level families. But I’m not entirely convinced.
In the September 2008 issue of Parents Magazine, Robert Pianta, Ph.D., dean of the Curry School of Education at the University of Virginia wrote an article entitled “Why Preschool Matters”. He is asked, “Should children really be doing academics in preschool?” He answers: “I definitely believe that they should… Today’s children are growing up in a very complex, interconnected world, and the earlier we start equipping all of them for that world, the better off we’ll all be.”
Academics at 3 years old? Huh. I can only imagine how much more “complex and interconnected” the world will be if we start institutionalizing children at such an early age. Let me reinterpret the NIEER’s findings:
- Better test scores = learning how to take tests instead of actually learning something.
- Better social skills = learning how to be part of the status quo
See, I’d rather my child become someone who can practice simplicity and true and lasting connections instead of contributing to the complexity and often chaotic interconnectedness that we find ourselves in, often half-gasping for breath if not drowning.
Unlike Tiger Mother Amy Chua, I don’t put a lot of value in letter grades or elitist opportunities. The heroes in my life weren’t known for their perfect school record, and most were kicked out of the system because there were simply too brilliant, too insightful, too perceptive to be roped in. Sure, I want my daughter to have a solid grasp of the basic and the classics but much much more than that, I want to raise my child connected to who she is and her place in this world so she can change the world for the better. I just don’t want her to learn how to adapt and behave the way the world forces her to. Sure, I believe that children need guidance and good life models to learn from, but ultimately, they must find their drive, their fire and their passion from within themselves. And who better to facilitate that but the people who care to get to know her the best?
Children don’t need pre-school.
Instead, we created a world in which parents need to put very young children in pre-school. While we need to be realistic about what it means to live in this complex world, we also need to start looking for ways to simplify it more. We need simpler solutions to our manmade crises. And most of that begins right here, at home.
P.S. So the problem is that no one is home anymore or for those of us who have rearranged our lives to stay at home, find it really challenging to do so. How do we find creative solutions for that? What do you think?
Vina, I admire your passion to nourish your children at home. The lack of community and affirmation when a woman stays home does make it a difficult choice. I have felt those yearnings keenly the last seven years.
Your question raises so many issues that my husband and I have been grappling with. You see, in many conservative circles now, the trend is to homeschool. It almost seems as if managing a home and raising children is not enough validation for women, especially if they have a college degree. Adding “homeschooling mom” to the job title seems more affirming and acceptable. If a woman like me chooses to send her children to school and also stays home, where can she find approval and community? Hardly anywhere it seems. Not even from myself.
So it seems that moms wanting both community and validation as they stay home to nuture their kids may opt to homeschool. But sometimes (though not always) the specialization, structure, and accountability that a formal education provides might be the better option. For us, it seems to be, at least so far. I am still in charge of educating my children, but I choose to a share that responsibility with others (paid teachers) instead of trying to bear the weight alone. So although I agree that age 3 it probably too early for school, I believe that nourishing my children and sending them to school is possible and in our case, desirable.
That said, I am not against home education. As long as parents don’t feel locked in and trapped, I think homeschooling is a good option. However, I have met women who seem depressed and burnt out from the constant demands of being both full-time parents and schooling their children. Furthermore, the need to re-evaluate cuts both ways. If either homeschooling or formal schooling are not working well, I believe children can benefit from the family seriously considering a change in approach.
Julia´s last [type] ..Homemade Fish Crackers- Art- and Math Pedagogy
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Vina Barham Reply:
February 8th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
@Julia, Julia, I very much appreciate you for sharing your thoughts. You truly have reminded me that so many things are not black and white, and I value your perspective. I have to admit that part of the allure to adding that homeschooling mom to my role gives me more of a validation than without it. Again, it seems that no matter what we choose, we need to find that validation from within us. I also like how you put it, “sharing responsibility” with others. Because truly our children’s education rests primarily on us. Your comment is really making me think more about this although I do have a few more years to decide on schooling. I respect your choice and hope I can come to a grounded and authentic choice for me and my familiy when the time comes.
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Julia Reply:
February 8th, 2011 at 10:09 pm
@Vina Barham, You are so gracious. I hope I didn’t bowl you over with my many thoughts! These have been percolating for a while, and I couldn’t help but comment when I read your post. I so enjoy what you share here. It nourishes me and spurs me to consider what is truly valuable.
Julia´s last [type] ..Homemade Fish Crackers- Art- and Math Pedagogy
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Vina Barham Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:43 pm
@Julia, Julia, no not at all! I love having thoughtful comments like yours!
One of my favorite topics.
Children don’t need schools. Schools need children.
The best teacher is Mom and Dad in cases where Mom and Dad have the patience and attentiveness.
My son is only 20 months old. I don’t push him to learn anything. But if he asks about something or shows interest in it, I’ll certainly find fun ways to incorporate teaching him about those things in real life. I am making letter posters for him, skipping the vowels since they have multiple sounds and he only gets three letters a week. He draws on the posters and we talk about the letters and their sounds. Then we find words that start with those letters and I draw them on for him. He’s getting QRS today.
Amazing thing: today he saw the word Mom and knew what it was. So cool. So tell me why we have to put our children in school? Why do they have to be limited? Why say, “I know you love letters, honey, but letters are for six year olds only.” Really? Does that make sense?
As for finding solutions to the stay-at-home blues: spend mornings with God, find joy in Him, and spend time teaching our little ones about the wonder of the world. Their joy becomes our joy. That’s what works for me, at least. And as for finances, we live pretty tight, don’t have cable, don’t buy anything but food and thrift store clothes, and follow God’s plan and refuse to take on any debt so it doesn’t strangle us later. My husband just graduated college this summer, so you can imagine that his earnings aren’t great yet.
Okay, so this comment is super long. Sorry.
But I love your post and it gets me fired up.
Meagan´s last [type] ..Grudges are Creeks
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Vina Barham Reply:
February 8th, 2011 at 6:37 pm
@Meagan, Hi Megan, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here. I truly hear you about our children’s joy becoming ours. It’s so true. We live pretty simply too, and really feel like in our choices in schooling is not what is best for my child unless we spend a lot of money. School often does impose all sorts of unnecessary limits on our children, something I don’t want for my child. Love that you guys are living so simply. You go momma!
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Ummm… just started reading the article you linked to… the Chinese Mothers one. There are far more important things than academic excellence.
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” – 1Cr 13:1-3 NIV
Meagan´s last [type] ..Grudges are Creeks
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Hi Vina,
I am right with you on this. You pretty much sum up my thoughts with, “I’m not sure that’s reason enough to subject my little girl to overrated peer socialization and introduce her to institutionalized learning.” Why stifle our children’s natural love of learning by forcing formal education at such a young age? And, after dedicating the first few years to creating a nurturing and nourishing home in which to thrive, why send our children off alone to a room full of same-aged children to influence them?
It’s funny I feel this way now – I was the type of child who liked the classroom, followed all the rules, got top grades, etc. But, now I really do see how limiting and institutionalized it all can be. Since I’ve become a mother, I have found myself rejecting a lot of the boxes that make life “easy” by eliminating our choices.
My daughter is only 2 now, but I love to see what inspires her and brings her pleasure. Exploring those things together, seeing her face light up, I can almost feel her mind and her heart expanding. Those moments remind me why our jobs as mothers are so important.
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Vina Barham Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:42 pm
@Jonna, I was the type of student who liked that whole school thing too. But I ended up not knowing what it is that I was really good at. I totally hear you about the rewards of seeing our children grow up and find their own passions and interests, no matter how young. It is such a gift to witness.
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In Minnesota we have a universally provided program called ECFE (Early Children and Family Education).Recognizing that parents are a child’s first and most significant teachers, ECFE offers a variety of classes and resources for parents and children birth through kindergarten age. ECFE helps build healthy families and sets the stage for parent involvement and children’s success throughout their lives. ECFE classes are split into three sections. Parent-Child Activity Time where families explore a classroom filled with developmentally appropriate play and learning activities planned by a licensed early childhood teacher. (Usually free play, fine motor, gross motor, and theme of the day play)
Parent Discussion Time where parents meet with a licensed parent educator to share support, experiences and information about child development and parenting techniques. This section of ECFE is wonderful to engage with other parents who are experiencing the same ups and downs. It helps to decrease the isolation many new parents feel.
Children’s Activity Time where children learn with the licensed early childhood teacher and paraprofessional and practice social skills as they interact with each other. They also practice their fine and gross motor skills, have free play, reading, and Art.
What are the benefits of ECFE?
ECFE works to strengthen families and engage the ability of all parents to provide the best possible environment for the healthy development of their children. Parents participate in educational activities with their children, and support each other by sharing their successes and challenges.
I wish EVERY state had this program! It is free in Minnesota if you are unable to pay.
I think some structure and some free play is good for children. The world has stucture. The world has rules. Our children are going to need the ability to adapt to their surroundings. To be flexible to the currents of life. It is part of our American culture in which we and our children live. To deny this or ignore it, I feel, is doing a great diservice to our young children. Though I don’t think this has to come from “OUTSIDE” the home. I am not a trained teacher, I am a nurse. I need all the help I can get to facilitate learning (structured and unstructured) for my children. Learning to listen, share, and take turns are all skills our children (and many adults) need to develop. Again I feel sharing the education of my daughter with a paid teacher fits well for our life. Thanks for the insightful post. It really did get me thinking and I am looking forward to watching the video. Thanks Kristina
Kristina´s last [type] ..This Moment Tiny Dancer
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Vina Barham Reply:
February 16th, 2011 at 7:40 pm
@Kristina, Hi Kristina! Thanks for sharing this! I totally hear you about sharing the educational responsibilities to other people you trust! I do not necessarily believe that the structure and freedom children need must come from outside the home but I also don’t think that it has to exclusively come from within the home either. I’m just really thinking out loud about what I’m hoping for my daughter….
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Good points, Vina. Of course, I have sent my two oldest to preschool and never regretted that decision. My 3-year old goes two mornings a week and looks forward to it. She is very outgoing and craves more activity and social interaction than she find on a typical morning at our house. My oldest has an altogether different personality, but also blossomed in preschool – he seemed most grateful for the enormous truck collection and the emotional literacy focus. We are blessed to have a great preschool – “child centered”; they follow “Developmentally Appropriate” curriculum, influenced by Montessori, Waldorf,and Reggio Emilia. I am happiest with my munchkins close by, but wouldn’t begrudge anyone a few hours away from their kid on weekday mornings – I’ve been grateful for a few precious one-on-one hours with my littlest one(s) while big bro/sis is in preschool. I admire parents who homeschool. Not sure if it’s the best choice for my family.
MamaBee´s last [type] ..Learning to Cook- Part 3
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I also refuse to be a Tiger mama, and have spent the last few months “deschoolinh” myself and reading John Holt and Summerhill. Each family has different needs and solutions/choices, but I think having more Asian parents walking their own paths and showing alternatives to the stereotypical “straight-A” path is helpful. I’m intrigued with the direction of this blog and look forward to reading more.
Serena´s last [type] ..April days
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