Interrupting Our Normal Blogging Schedule (As If There Was One): I Need Your Help!

There’s so much I want to share. And explain. And explore with y’all. But where to begin? I’m not the most succinct person (my blog posts tend to be meandering as one dear fellow blogger describes my writing style – so true Kathleen!) and I sometimes think I suffer from a major case of ADD. Like major.

I’m often all over the place and can’t stay in one spot, one topic, one job, heck not even in one country for a very long time (until I became a mama and found myself rooted here in lovely Seattle). I don’t think I can become a niche blogger as is often the recommendation for those wanting to build a business around their blog. Nor can I seem to remain in the same friendships for very long (which will be for another story, yet again.) I don’t know if it’s novelty I crave or that the familiar simply bores the heck out of me.

See? I wasn’t even planning on talking about my ADD but there it is.

(Oh, if you just want to get to my BIG POR FAVOR QUESTION, skip to the bottom of the page.)

So, let me resort to a list of stuff I’ve been meaning to bring up with you all in one post.  Stuff that I’ve given so much thought but somehow sort of forgotten to write about. I know I know, it’s not epic. It’s only my blog, my life and what I write about here. Sometimes, I get so caught up with this blog and sometimes I feel a bit silly (and ashamed!) that I invest so much in it. But then again, I have plans and good intentions and ambitions of sort. The kind of stuff that brews slowly in your mind and is birthed in your heart. So let’s dive in, shall we?

More of My Real Life.
Not that I’ve been lying to y’all, but I lately, I’ve been more drawn to express my opinions and thoughts about this and that instead of sharing what I’ve been up to and where I’ve been. I write more sometimes about who I want to become instead of who I am now. And I want to do both. Writing about my Ideals is an awesome way for me to be inspired (and inspire others) but I don’t want to forget to share about the painful Realities sometimes too. I also am truly an INFP, which means high standards + perfectionism, oh my!  But I’m also learning. To Be, to Create, to Chill and have more FUN in life. To take Pleasure seriously. Wheee! So let’s agree to be okay with all our contradictions + paradoxes. Real + Ideal, yes?

More Community
I don’t know if it’s the “I” (introverted) in my said INFP personality but I tend to be keep to myself. Sort of a recluse. I enjoy hanging out with a girlfriend here and there, catching up and hanging out but I enjoy it when it happens once in a while. I know. I’m weird. I love my own company (is that narcissistic?) and get energized that way. I love groups too but only when there’s a topic being discussed or something we’re all doing together that I’m passionate about. Otherwise, oh my, I get headaches just from being with a group of people. (Ironic thing, I love being on stage for being an introvert! Except I haven’t been on stage in a very long time. Hmmm. Maybe I am a narcissist?) Anyway, I noticed too that on this blog, I tend to be somewhat of a loner too. Not really giving much effort on connecting and partnering with other bloggers. And I truly want to change that. Some people scoff at online communities but oh my. To some people, they are the world! So yes, there will be more community here. I hope. Any ideas?

Blogging + Money.
I’m making peace with my money issues y’all. Slowly. Painfully. But oh so magically. And I’m taking this blog along for the ride. See, I’m learning the art of earning, not just from this blog, but from my Art. Whatever that is. And I’m (finally!) proud and unashamed. For a long time, like many other artists and d0-gooders, I’ve simply accepted the starving artist-missionary idea, this dichotomy  between art/purpose and money. And I’ve embraced a simple-frugal life because I thought that my calling could never be entrepreneurial. Oh but how misguided I was.  And so as I unlearn my starving artist-missionary ideas and absorb a new paradigm that could sustain my new purpose-driven art-centered entrepreneurial venture as a stay-at-home mama, this blog is probably going to evolve with that. Hence, some few changes I’ve implemented recently and many to come. Which brings me to my next point:

Sponsorship + Advertising Opportunities
Yes, my numbers are modest but growing. But oh how I dream of this blog to become a space to introduce y’all to so many creative brave bold women, bloggers, writers, solopreneurs, world changers, homemakers who have amazing services and products to offer! Check out my Sponsorship + Advertising Page for more details. I want to have all my spots filled out in the next 6 months. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Do you know the kind of people who would love to partner with me? Could it be you?

My Shop
Yes! A shop! But not a shop of stuff. More like a shop of what I know. So, I’m planning and scheming  (hopefully soon!) of e-books and e-courses I can offer here. Wheeee! Often, I underestimate what I know (wisdom) and undervalue what I can do (talents) or I forget that there is a world out there, no matter how small, who would love to get their hands on what I have to offer. But I’m so growing in that area, of taking myself a little bit more seriously in this department. It so comes with the territory of making peace with money!

So The Big Por Favor: A Question For You

So I wanted to ask for your help dear friends and readers. Help me make this blog more…awesome for you. Some questions for you:  What topics and posts here have spoken powerfully to you? What were the most memorable, helpful, useful, thought-provoking, life-changing? Can you help me clarify what my genius is? What is it that I do here that makes you keep coming back? What would you love to see more of? I would LOOOOVE your input and a heartfelt thanks for those who feel compelled to help me out!

I’m tempted to do a giveaway of some sort to entice some feedback. But I won’t because I know you smart ladies don’t need a bribe to do what you want to do anyway! :) But oh I want to give something away as a thank you for all of you who have given your time reading, commenting and really being part of my blogging venture. It’s been a growing experience for me and I hope for you too! I really want it to be special for you gals so I’m going to sit on that for awhile to think about what giveaway it would be. Just thinking about it excites me!

OK, phew. That’s all I have. If you have read this far, WOW. Thank you. Here’s a big heaping of love and gratitude from my heart to yours.


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  1. Christa says

    *What topics and posts here have spoken powerfully to you?/ What were the most memorable, helpful, useful, thought-provoking, life-changing*:
    – your latest on sex/femininity; the new ideas in your life (exploring unschooling, outdoor preschool, new diets, recipes, faith journey,etc.) – i like the ADD thing

    *What would you love to see more of?*
    -more ADD. any of the projects/ideas/passions you have – whether you finish them or not!

    *Can you help me clarify what my genius is?*
    – Maybe another way to look at the ADD thing is to say that you are a pioneer. Like you are charting new territories all the time (even if you decide to forgo the idea later on.) Like a cartographer. The point is the exploration and documentation, not necessarily being a settler? Does that make sense? I just threw out like 5 metaphors…..

    What is it that I do here that makes you keep coming back? being authentic, non judgmental, fun, same station of life as me, and I know you (it’s funny, I feel like I know you way more now than when I actually knew you at Jubilee!)

  2. Vina Barham says

    @Christa, Wow thank you so much Christa for your so helpful feedback! i’m afraid you’re the only one who responded so far! maybe because you know me! but anyway, thank you so very very helpful! i love your 5 metaphors!

  3. says

    Goodness, that’s a tall order! You’re asking us to THINK 😛 I’ll see what I can do…

    First of all, though, I want to commiserate with you regarding the advice to find a “niche.” It seems to be true that having a niche draws readers, and can help give us direction as writers. But sometimes you get sick of your topic, or you get really excited about a new topic. I started my blog to fall under the “marriage blogs” niche because, frankly, I wanted to write a book on marriage and knew the only way any of it would ever get read was by posting it online. But now that I’ve written everything I wanted to write on marriage (everything I would have covered in a book), I’m kind of stuck. I want to go in new directions and I’m not sure how to do that. I guess all of this is just to say that I’m with you there. However, I think you’ve succeeded in finding a place that is both broad enough to encompass a wide range of topics but narrow enough that there seems to be cohesiveness between your posts. I don’t think you necessarily have to get any “nichier” than you are.

    So, on to your questions…
    What topics and posts here have spoken powerfully to you? I’ve loved your Velveteen Mama stuff and of course, more recently, your motherhood + pleasure posts.

    What is it that I do here that makes you keep coming back? I love how you take us with you on your journeys. You don’t have everything figured out when you write about them — you explore them, seeking answers, and invite us to join you. I feel like I’m discovering things with you.

  4. says

    Part of why i come back because post after post that I read I get to the end and I think “yes, I can so relate.” because being here and reading what you write makes me feel a little less alone – like I’m not the only one. And this post is a great example of that… I can so relate to your loving to be alone – i love occasionally getting together with a friend, and know that I need the support that offers, but not too often 😉 and I have no idea what to do with myself in unstructured group settings – talk about stressful! Oh, and the money stuff – so much I could say there… And Oh, the niche delema – in those seasons of life when I get all motivated and want to “optimize my blog” and get some income from this thing I love doing I always come back to wrestling with the question of niche and I always end up in the same place – not wanting to be stuck with one topic. And so my topics stay random, just like the stuff I’m interested in – random!
    But, I think that your non-nicheness (yes, I like to make up words) is also something that keeps me coming back – because I never really know exactly what I’ll find. And isn’t that pretty much how life is, how all of us are? We don’t live our lives in niches, we live our lives in dichotomies, in fluctuating extremes and balancing, amidst changing life situations and changing interests, we are whole beings. I love that I find that here – I find a little bit of all of live here. Not clean, finished and out together, but authentic becoming, exploring, wandering – and I love that. I love that I find a whole person here at your blog and not just a topic :) so, thank you – thank you for sharing yourself!
    Ok, I didn’t even come close to answering all your questions, but my son wants me to color with him… Maybe I’ll write more in response later….

  5. says

    I like your written voice – part friend over coffee, part diary – and your combination of spontaneous enthusiasm and considered exploration of topics that interest you and you feel are underexplored. I think that’s valuable, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to see this post to say so! I haven’t blogged in long enough that one of my online friends enquired into my health; I just haven’t found that groove of personal and general, interested but not ranting, lately. So it’s cheering to see others who’ve got it and are working it.

  6. Jenny Miller says

    I too have the ADD trait of going off on little rabbit trails. I think the upside to this is you never know where they are going to lead you. Sometimes it’s scary (or really frustrating), but we are spirit-led. I have considered starting a blog, but doubt myself and my focus. But then you asked us for our advice and shared your similar dilemna. The fact that you share everything is uplifting and gives credence to lots of mom dilemnas. We can relate. We are pulled in lots of directions, no? So, I say, continue on your course. I’ll certainly keep reading!

  7. Vina Barham says

    @Jenny Miller, Yes Jenny, I totally love that my rabbit trails lead me to some pretty interesting discoveries! Be encouraged that there are bloggers who struggle with both self-doubt and focus…all the time! Or least I do. So oh do us a favor and start blogging! :)

  8. Vina Barham says

    @Lauren, Thank you so much Lauren. I treasure your comment and am thankful you take the time to visit here and share your thoughts! I hope you find your groove soon so there’s more of you to read on your blog!

  9. Vina Barham says

    @Bethany, Oh Bethany, thank you so much for your comment. So much in common….

    But what I love the most…? “We don’t live our lives in niches.” So true. Yes, we live our lives in dichotomies…TOTALLY. And I love that the people who visit here and make themselves at home are those who get that and embrace that. Like you!

    Please keep blogging too..ok? NO matter how random!

  10. Vina Barham says

    @Kathleen Quiring | Project M, THank you SOOO much Kathleen. I love that you are venturing into motherhood on your blog as well! I think you too will find that sweet spot somehow of redefining your own “niche” as you explore and write what interests you…..(your posts on AP inspires me to write on that topic too! keep at it!) and I look forward to reading more.

    Thank you again for such a thoughtful comment!!!!

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