Photo By Yelnoc
Last week, I started a series to explain Our Nourishing Family Philosophy and focused on the Natural + Holistic values we bring into our child-rearing practices. Today, we’ll look into our love for simplicity and deep longing for authenticity in our home and how we hope to bless our child with these.
But before I go on to part 2, I feel the need to say a couple things: (1) That these values we so hope to flood our home with are our ideal. I am not writing to convince anyone that they should adopt these values whatsoever. I do believe that having a family philosophy hashed out somewhere in your mind or in paper (or in a public blog like this) is essential to becoming the “best” parent you can be. And by best, I don’t mean in comparison to others, but simply the kind of parent that mirrors your best strengths and gifts your child will benefit greatly from. (2) These are ideals and not necessarily our daily reality, although this is what we try to give our energies to with our utmost. And we find the best remedy when ideals are not met is to laugh at your attempts for even trying. And of course, ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better.
So here we go:
Nourishing A Simple Family
Simplicity to me means a focus on what’s essential and free of all that is unnecessary. It is almost synonymous to being natural in my book. Most of what is natural is also simple, but not all things simple are natural. But they sure go hand in hand. When I think of what I need to learn as a mother, I think of what is truly important and do away with the peripheral. Because there are so many secondary things that vie for our attention and we only have a limited amount of that available. In order to avoid burning out, focusing on what is most important in our lives and eliminating the superflous is, well, important.
For example, these days so many mothers try to teach their babies sign language right away. I honestly struggled with this, and I know some ASL (American Sign Language) from a course I took in high school. As a new mom, there were more important things for me to focus on, like breastfeeding and taking care of myself so I can take care of my family. Baby sign took away from that. Another thing to think about. And then I thought of whether this is something my baby really needed. And I think, not necessarily. She’ll learn to talk, words will come. I’d rather focus my limited energies on the unseen aspect of communication, which is beyond the scope of this post. I imagine baby sign to be a temporary solution to creating truly healthy communication between baby and parents (which is what they are trying to enhance some), and that the return does not outweigh the investment I have to put in it. I’ll have to write another post just for Baby Sign Language, but in my book, it does not simplify things in our home.
What about you? Does simplicity resonate with your values and lifestyle? I’d love to hear about your story!
Nourishing An Authentic Family
I’ve written a few articles on authentic mothering: on discovering our strengths, on how it unravels and unmasks us, on focusing on our positives, personality and passions, as well as raising authentic children. Authentic for me means living out of my unique core, the stuff that sets me apart from the rest of the world or whatever makes me, well, me. I’m not an authenticity expert, but I’m on this journey of discovering who I truly am, recovering parts of me I’ve lost, embracing all of me, and offering it all without shame. I grew up sort of like a chameleon in that I take on other people’s personalities in hopes of being liked and accepted (I overused my gift of empathy, I think) and I’m finally figuring out that this is not the best way to live! I’ve always wrestled with this nagging sense of unwanted-ness (is that even a word?) and have spent way too much energy trying to figure out the root cause of it (not that it’s not helpful, just too time consuming) instead of simply changing the way I think about myself. So bringing authenticity to every parts of my life is one of my most important projects right now because it’s a gift I want to offer to my daughter. Feeling ashamed of who you are is a very rotten way to live. And an exhausting one too.
How this looks like in my life right now is paying attention to what gives me energy, and making more space for whatever that is to happen more in my life. Running is one of those things, as well as spending time outdoors. Time flies so quickly and passes quite magically when I can feel the wind on my skin and breathe fresh air into my lungs. Writing is also one of those things, hence this blog. Reading really good books and watching really good movies are also top favorites. I’m also recovering parts I have lost that bring me Life. I love to dance, sing and travel. I am also really really good at listening to people who need to process the hard stuff in their life without judgement. When I’m able to do these things on a regular basis (or at least dream of integrating them back in my present), I immediately feel excited and hopeful. And not surprisingly I notice how much better of a wife and mother I become.
What about you? What does authenticity mean to you? How does it show up in your journey as a mother? Come back for Part 3 in this series next Thursday!
