You know that trick question of, what would you do if you couldn’t fail?
Well, it’s not a trick question.
Because the truth is, there is no fail.
Fail is just another construct in our black/white + good/bad dichotomy we’ve inherited by way of childhood, religious dogma or cultural conditioning. It started maybe from when we learned the word “uh-oh” in our childhood days, when we spilled yet again another glass of milk, or when we yet again soiled our undies simply because we were not yet ready. This sense of shame from not doing something quite…perfectly.
And as I type those words, I nurse a twinge of sadness and regret that I’ve had my share of perpetuating this harmful divide of the pysche in my daughter. Although I consider myself to be conscious and progressive in my mothering, I still have wounds. I still react. I still have lapses in taking great care of myself so I can take great care of those I love. I still have my stuff that spills out in my everyday parenting. And I grieve it.
:: Pause ::
The last week or so, I’ve been somewhat stressed out with my upcoming schedule. As I shared before, I have my Nia White Belt coming up, which means I would be away from my daughter for a total of 8 days (broken up within two long weekends). I’ve never been away from her for more than 3 hours at a time! I also started my Wise Woman Leadership Program today, which is on Mondays and Wednesdays at 10 AM PST and for an hour this morning, I was struggling with letting my little girl watch a movie and not being able to pay attention to the tele-class. I also have a couple of blog set-up and design projects I’m working on, although thank goodness one is almost completely done! On top of all that, my diet has sort of gone a little downhill too. I’ve mindlessly consumed sugar, refined flour and junkfood – stuff I usually don’t even have in my house to begin with because I am trying to heal my gut and keep my Candida at bay, if not totally eliminate it.
As a result, there have been more days when I’m short with my daughter. And short with myself. I seem to have less tolerance for “mistakes” when I’m not taking care of myself. When the Standard American Diet (SAD) interferes with my rest and sleep, my clarity and conscious thinking. I’ve raised my voice far more than I would like. And I’ve been distracted and not at all Present to Life, to myself and to those I love, most especially my little girl.
It hurts to know that I sometimes teach my daughter what I’m trying to undo in my own life.
But what’s more important is what I do with that hurt.
Do I consider it a failure and beat myself up all over again and keep the cycle going? Or do I consider it a springboard for more growth and consciousness in my life? A rich fertilizer of sorts that is helping rebuild this soil of mine so I can grow deep roots of unconditional love and self-acceptance towards myself and those around me?
There is no fail. All the “mistakes” in our lives are just another way of growing up and returning to who we truly are. And when I embrace that Truth, everything in my life becomes beautiful.
Did you like this article? Would you help me spread this bundle of life-affirming words by sharing it with others? Make it go viral among moms you know, your followers and friends, your blog readers who could use a little encouragement today? And as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Thank you so much!